found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
