She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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