the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
