Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
try to milk me bitch
You did what with his pubic hair?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
