the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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