Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
