Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just gargled with NyQuil
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
