i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize
