I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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