i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The adults are the big ones right?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
