Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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