i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish i was in the wii world.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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