So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
birth control should be required to get into college
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
