were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
