I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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