Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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