omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
