If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
