Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
