After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Your penis caused this!
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