entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
