So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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