I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
