Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
