Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
