I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
