Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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