What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
