BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
