I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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