Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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