Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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