i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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