I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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