I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
