You just made me feel so damn special
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
