Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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