Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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