FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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