i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
