He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
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i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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