I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize