Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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