White coat. Heels.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
