I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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