thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just pee around me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize