Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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