i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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