then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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