Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize