i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
