check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
why is half of my head shaved?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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