wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
