not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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