Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
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