She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
