I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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