do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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