I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
