Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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