u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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