you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
